[S}haTTeReD [D}ReAMs

2004-09-19T21:49:00.000+08:00

barh a week of hell has just ended... i been working so hard... until i forget that i need to pay my bills... barh been working almost 64 hrs... to be exect... haiz... whel when CT go malysia on 3 days to be honest.... i missed her... arh... lame eh!! barh work like hell... I wana change Job!! Relax Job!! Teaching Job!! Technican job!!here i am ready to accept... i cant stand to working at cbtl... haiz....

2004-08-21T22:46:00.000+08:00

Barh me been so stress up for these days... getting a perfict job for my week ends... barh work so much can die... but time allow me... so hows school?? me? barh.. a new start then... barh... i slowly lost my concentration for life... barh to stress up on exam... "cam mana ni" so dame work out... whele its a new day for me...

2004-07-28T09:09:00.000+08:00

Today kinda thired after doing work at a stright week at cbtl... haiz... hope got high pay
just to pay back who i owe... such a hecktick day yesterday.. the head manager from malaysia
came in and inspect my stall at fxt used to IBM.. barh i need to get new bag to bring proper thing to schoo and work... barh kinda sick for a week... eyes drying, gumes loosing, back more pain and more pain... whele get u back later....

2004-07-26T21:41:00.000+08:00

Hadis Abu Hurairah r.a: Nabi s.a.w bersabda tentang apa yang baginda terima dari Allah s.w.t katanya: Seorang hamba Allah melakukan dosa, lalu berdoa: Wahai Tuhanku! Ampunkanlah dosaku. Allah s.w.t berfirman: Hamba-Ku telah melakukan dosa, tetapi dia tahu bahawa dia mempunyai Tuhan yang akan mengampunkan dosa atau menghukumnya kerana melakukan dosa. Kemudian hamba Allah tersebut kembali melakukan dosa, lalu berdoa: Wahai Tuhanku! Ampunkanlah dosaku. Allah s.w.t berfirman: Hamba-Ku melakukan dosa, tetapi dia tahu bahawa dia mempunyai Tuhan yang akan mengampunkan dosa atau menghukumnya kerana melakukan dosa. Kemudian hamba Allah tersebut kembali melakukan dosa, lalu berdoa: Wahai Tuhanku! Ampunkanlah dosaku. Allah s.w.t berfirman: HambaKu melakukan dosa, tetapi dia tahu bahawa dia mempunyai Tuhan yang akan mengampunkan dosa atau menghukumnya kerana melakukan dosa. Oleh itu buatlah sesuka hatimu, Aku akan ampunkan dosamu. Hamba tersebut berkata: Aku tidak tahu sehingga kali ketiga atau keempat aku meminta keampunan, tetapi Allah s.w.t tetap berfirman: Buatlah sesuka hatimu, Aku tetap akan mengampunkan dosamu
Nombor Hadis Dalam Sahih Muslim [Dalam Bahasa Arab sahaja]: 4953

Hadis Saidatina Aisyah r.a isteri Nabi s.a.w katanya: Apabila Rasulullah s.a.w ingin musafir, baginda biasanya mengadakan undian di kalangan isteri-isterinya. Sesiapa yang bernasib baik dialah yang akan keluar bersama Rasulullah s.a.w. Saidatina Aisyah berkata: Rasulullah s.a.w membuat undian di kalangan kami untuk memilih siapakah yang akan turut serta ke medan perang. Tanpa diduga undi akulah yang berjaya. Lalu aku keluar bersama Rasulullah s.a.w. Peristiwa ini berlaku selepas turunnya ayat hijab. Aku dibawa dalam Haudaj (sebuah bilik kecil untuk perempuan yang diletakkan di atas unta). Bilik inilah aku ditempatkan selama berada di sana. Setelah Rasulullah s.a.w selesai berperang, kami terus pulang. Kami berhenti rehat buat seketika di suatu tempat yang berhampiran dengan Madinah. Sebaik sahaja tiba waktu malam kami diminta supaya meneruskan perjalanan. Pada waktu yang sama aku bangkit dan berjalan jauh dari pasukan tentera. Apabila selesai membuang air besar aku kembali ke tempat kelengkapan perjalanan. Ketika aku menyentuh dadaku mencari kalung, ternyata kalungku yang diperbuat dari manik Zafar (berasal dari Zafar, Yaman) hilang. Aku kembali lagi ke tempat tadi mencari kalungku sehingga aku ditinggalkan dalam keadaan tersebut. Sementara itu beberapa orang lelaki yang ditugaskan membawaku mengangkat Haudaj ke atas unta yang aku tunggangi kemudian terus pulang. Pada sangkaan mereka aku berada di dalamnya. Saidatina Aisyah berkata: Wanita pada waktu itu semuanya ringan-ringan, tidak terlalu tinggi dan tidak pula terlalu gemuk kerana mereka hanya memakan sedikit makanan menyebabkan para sahabat tidak terasa berat ketika membawa serta mengangkat Haudaj. Apatah lagi aku pada waktu itu seorang gadis. Mereka membangkitkan unta dan terus berjalan. Sebaik sahaja mereka bertolak aku bertemu kalung yang kehilangan tadi. Aku pergi ke tempat perhentian mereka semasa berperang, namun tidak seorang pun yang ada di sana. Lalu aku kembali ke tempat perhentianku dengan harapan mereka sedar kehilanganku dan kembali mencariku. Ketika berada di tempatku, aku terasa mengantuk dan terus tertidur. Kebetulan Safuan bin Al-Muattal As-Sulami Az-Zakwani telah ditinggalkan oleh pasukan tentera supaya berangkat pada awal malam sehinggalah dia sampai ke tempatku pada pagi tersebut. Dalam kesamaran dia terlihat seorang manusia sedang tidur. Dia menghampiriku dan didapati aku yang tidur di situ. Dia mengenaliku kerana pernah melihat aku sebelum hijab diwajibkan kepadaku. Aku tersedar oleh ucapannya إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَ إِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ ketika dia mengetahui bahawa aku tidur di situ. Aku segera menutup wajahku dengan kain tudung. Demi Allah! Dia tidak bercakap dengan aku dan aku juga tidak mendengar kata-katanya walaupun sepatah selain ucapannya إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَ إِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ sehinggalah dia meminta aku menunggang untanya. Tanpa membuang masa aku terima pelawaannya dan terus naik dengan berpijak di tangannya, lalu beredar dalam keadaan dia menarik unta sehinggalah kami berjaya mendapatkan pasukan tentera yang sedang berhenti rehat kerana panas terik. Celakalah penuduhku dan orang yang tetap dengan keangkuhannya iaitu Abdullah bin Ubai bin Salul. Setelah sampai di Madinah, aku jatuh sakit di Madinah selama sebulan setelah ku kembali. Sementara itu orang ramai sedang menyebarkan fitnah daripada pereka cerita bohong tetapi aku sendiri tidak mengetahuinya. Aku mula resah setelah Rasulullah s.a.w kelihatan berubah malah aku tidak lagi merasakan kelembutan Rasulullah s.a.w yang biasanya aku rasakan ketika aku sakit. Rasulullah s.a.w cuma masuk mengucapkan salam kemudian bertanya: Bagaimana keadaanmu? Suasana ini menyebabkan aku semakin gelisah kerana bagiku, aku tidak melakukan keburukan. Setelah penyakitku beransur sembuh, aku keluar bersama Ummu Mistah ke tempat buang air besar. Ianya adalah tempat yang biasa kami kunjungi untuk membuang air besar dan kami hanya keluar pada waktu malam. Keadaan ini berterusan sehinggalah kami membina tandas berhampiran dengan rumah kami. Kamilah orang arab yang pertama membina tandas untuk bersuci. Akhirnya kami merasa terganggu dengan tandas tersebut yang di bina berhampiran dengan rumah kami. Suatu hari aku keluar bersama Ummu Mistah binti Abu Ruhmi bin Al-Muttalib bin Abdul Manaf. Ibunya adalah puteri Sakhrin bin Amir ibu saudara Abu Bakar As-Siddiq r.a, anaknya bernama Mistah bin Usaasah bin Abbad bin Al-Muttalib. Setelah kami selesai buang air besar aku berjumpa dengan anak perempuan Abu Ruhmi berhampiran rumahku. Tiba-tiba Ummu Mistah terpijak pakaiannya lalu melatah sambil berkata: Celaka Mistah! Aku berkata kepadanya: Apakah engkau mencela seorang lelaki yang syahid dalam peperangan Badar. Dia menjawab: Wahai Saidatina Aisyah: Tidakkah engkau mendengar apa yang dia katakan? Aku menjawab: Tidak, apakah yang dia katakan? Lantas Ummu Mistah menceritakan kepada aku tuduhan pembuat cerita bohong. Mendengar cerita itu, sakitku bertambah kuat. Setelah sampai di rumah Rasulullah s.a.w masuk menjengukku. Baginda mengucapkan salam kemudian bertanya: Bagaimana keadaanmu? Aku menjawab: Apakah engkau izinkan aku berjumpa dua orang tuaku? Pada saat itu aku ingin kepastian tentang berita tersebut dari dua orang tuaku. Selepas mendapat keizinan daripada Rasulullah s.a.w, aku segera pulang ke rumah orang tuaku. Sebaik sahaja sampai di sana, aku bertanya ibuku: Mak, apakah cerita yang disebarkan oleh orang ramai mengenai diriku? Ibuku menjawab: Wahai anakku! Tabahkanlah hatimu! Demi Allah berapa orang sahaja wanita cantik berada di samping suami yang menyayanginya dan mempunyai beberapa orang madu tidak difitnahkan, bahkan ramai yang dilontarkan fitnah terhadapnya. Aku berkata: Maha suci Allah s.w.t! Apakah sampai begitu sekali orang ramai memfitnah ku? Aku terus menangis pada malam tersebut dan tidak lagi mampu menahan air mata. Aku tidak dapat tidur sehingga pada pagi keesokannya, aku masih lagi dalam keadaan demikian. Setelah beberapa ketika Rasulullah s.a.w memanggil Ali bin Abi Talib dan Usamah bin Zaid untuk membincangkan perceraian dengan isterinya. Ketika itu wahyu tidak diturunkan. Usamah bin Zaid memberi pertimbangan kepada Rasulullah s.a.w tentang penjagaan Allah terhadap isteri baginda dan kemesraan Nabi terhadap mereka sambil berkata: Wahai Rasulullah! Mereka adalah keluargamu. Kami cuma mengetahui apa yang baik. Manakala Ali bin Abi Talib pula berkata: Allah tidak menyulitkan kamu malah wanita selain daripadanya masih ramai. Jika engkau bertanyakan pembantu rumah pun, tentu dia akan memberikan keterangan yang betul. Saidatina Aisyah berkata: Lantas Rasulullah s.a.w memanggil Barirah (pembantu rumah) dan bertanya: Wahai Barirah! Apakah engkau pernah melihat sesuatu yang meragukan tentang Aisyah? Barirah menjawab: Demi Allah yang mengutusmu membawa kebenaran. Sekiranya aku melihat sesuatu padanya, nescaya aku tidak akan menyembunyikannya. Dia tidak lebih dari seorang gadis muda yang sering tertidur di samping adunan roti keluarganya sehinggalah binatang ternakan seperti ayam dan burung datang memakannya. Saidatina Aisyah berkata: Kemudian Rasulullah s.a.w berdiri di atas mimbar meminta pertolongan untuk membersihkan segala fitnah yang dilontarkan oleh Abdullah bin Ubai bin Salul. Saidatina Aisyah berkata lagi: Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda semasa berkhutbah: Wahai kaum Muslimin! Siapakah yang ingin menolongku dari orang yang sanggup melukai hati keluargaku? Demi Allah! Apa yang aku ketahui hanyalah kebaikan. Beberapa orang telah menyebut tentang seorang lelaki yang aku ketahui bahawa dia seorang yang baik. Dia tidak pernah masuk berjumpa isteriku kecuali bersamaku. Lalu Saad bin Muaz Al-Ansariy bangun berkata: Aku yang akan menolongmu daripada orang itu wahai Rasulullah. Jika dia daripada golongan Aus aku akan memenggal lehernya dan sekiranya dia dari kalangan saudara kami daripada golongan Khazraj, perintahkanlah aku nescaya aku akan melaksanakan segala perintahmu itu. Saidatina Aisyah berkata: Mendengar kata-kata tersebut lantas Saad bin Ubadah bangun. Dia adalah penghulu golongan Khazraj, seorang yang soleh tetapi kadang-kadang dia cepat radang kerana bongkak. Dia menjawab kepada Saad bin Muaz: Engkau bohong! Demi Allah engkau tidak dapat membunuhnya dan tidak mampu untuk membunuhnya! Lalu Usaid bin Hudair sepupu Saad bin Muaz bangun menjawab kepada Saad bin Ubadah: Engkau bohong! Demi Allah, kami akan membunuhnya. Engkau seorang munafik yang membela orang-orang munafik. Maka terjadilah pertengkaran hebat antara golongan Aus dan Khazraj, sehingga mereka hampir membunuh antara satu sama lain. Rasulullah s.a.w masih tetap berdiri di atas mimbar. Rasulullah s.a.w tidak henti-henti menenangkan mereka sehinggalah mereka terdiam kerana melihat Rasulullah s.a.w diam. Saidatina Aisyah berkata: Melihat keadaan itu aku menangis sepanjang hari. Air mataku tidak berhenti mengalir dan aku tidak dapat tidur sehinggalah pada malam berikutnya. Dua ibu bapaku menganggap tangisanku itu boleh membawa kepada terbelahnya jantungku. Ketika ibu bapaku menunggu aku, seorang perempuan Ansar datang meminta izin menemuiku. Setelah aku mengizinkannya, dia terus masuk lalu duduk sambil menangis. Saidatina Aisyah berkata: Ketika itu Rasulullah s.a.w masuk memberi salam, lalu duduk bersama aku. Saidatina Aisyah berkata: Baginda tidak pernah berbuat demikian sejak berlakunya fitnah terhadapku sebulan yang lalu. Wahyu juga tidak diturunkan kepada baginda mengenai keadaanku. Saidatina Aisyah berkata: Rasulullah s.a.w mengucapkan Dua Kalimah Syahadah ketika duduk kemudian bersabda: Wahai Aisyah! Aku ketahui berbagai cerita telah diperkatakan tentang dirimu. Jika engkau memang tidak bersalah, Allah pasti tidak akan menyalahkan kamu. Tetapi seandainya engkau bersalah, pohonlah keampunan daripada Allah dan bertaubatlah kepada-Nya kerana sesungguhnya apabila seorang hamba mengaku berdosa, kemudian bertaubat nescaya Allah pasti akan menerima taubatnya. Saidatina Aisyah berkata: Sebaik sahaja Rasulullah s.a.w selesai bersabda, aku bertambah sedih sehingga tidak terasa air mataku menitis. Aku berkata kepada ayahku: Jelaskanlah kepada Rasulullah s.a.w mengenai apa yang baginda katakan. Ayahku menjawab: Demi Allah! Aku tidak tahu apa yang harus dijelaskan kepada Rasulullah s.a.w. Kemudian aku berkata kepada ibuku: Jelaskanlah kepada Rasulullah s.a.w. Ibuku juga menjawab: Demi Allah! Aku tidak tahu apa yang harus dijelaskan kepada Rasulullah s.a.w. Lalu aku berkata: Aku adalah seorang gadis muda. Aku tidak banyak membaca Al-Quran. Demi Allah! Aku tahu bahawa kalian telah mendengar semuanya itu sehingga tetap bersemadi di hati kalian, malah kalian mempercayainya. Jika aku katakan kepada kalian bahawa aku tidak bersalah, Allahlah yang mengetahui bahawa aku tidak bersalah, tetapi kalian tetap tidak mempercayaiku. Begitu juga sekiranya aku mengakui melakukan kesalahan, Allahlah yang mengetahui bahawa aku tidak bersalah dan kalian tentu akan mempercayaiku. Demi Allah, aku tidak mempunyai contoh yang tepat untuk aku dan kalian kecuali kata-kata yang disebut oleh ayah Nabi Yusuf a.s: فَصَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ وَاللَّهُ الْمُسْتَعَانُ عَلَى مَا تَصِفُونَ Yang bermaksud: Kalau begitu bersabarlah aku dengan sebaik-baiknya dan Allah jualah yang dipohonkan pertolongan mengenai apa yang kamu katakan itu. Saidatina Aisyah berkata: Kemudian aku beredar lalu berbaring di tempat tidurku. Saidatina Aisyah berkata: Demi Allah! Pada saat itu aku yakin diriku tidak bersalah dan Allah akan menunjukkan bahawa aku tidak bersalah. Tetapi Demi Allah! Aku tidak menyangka bahawa wahyu akan diturunkan tentang permasalahanku kerana persoalanku adalah terlalu remeh untuk difirmankan oleh Allah s.w.t. Namun begitu aku mengharapkan agar Rasulullah s.a.w melihat dalam mimpinya bahawa Allah s.w.t membersihkan aku dari fitnah itu. Saidatina Aisyah berkata: Demi Allah! Rasulullah s.a.w tidak beredar dari tempat duduk baginda dan tidak ada seorangpun di kalangan keluarga kami keluar. Apabila Allah s.w.t menurunkan wahyu kepada Nabi-Nya, baginda kelihatan berubah. Baginda duduk membongkok sambil berpeluh bagaikan mutiara pada musim sejuk kerana beratnya menerima firman Allah s.w.t yang diturunkan kepada baginda. Saidatina Aisyah berkata: Setelah itu Rasulullah s.a.w terus ketawa. Ucapan pertama baginda selepas menerima wahyu tersebut ialah sabdanya: Bergembiralah, wahai Aisyah! Sesungguhnya Allah s.w.t telah membersihkan kamu! Lalu ibuku berkata kepadaku: Bangunlah berjumpa Rasulullah s.a.w. Aku menjawab: Demi Allah! Aku tidak akan bangun berjumpa baginda. Aku hanya akan memuji kepada Allah s.w.t kerana Dialah yang menurunkan ayat Al-Quran menyatakan kebersihanku. Lalu Allah s.w.t menurunkan ayat إِنَّ الَّذِينَ جَاءُوا بِالْإِفْكِ عُصْبَةٌ مِنْكُمْ Yang bermaksud: (Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang membawa berita yang amat dusta itu ialah segolongan dari kalangan kamu) sebanyak sepuluh ayat. Allah s.w.t menurunkan ayat-ayat tersebut yang menyatakan kebersihanku. Saidatina Aisyah berkata: Lalu Sayidina Abu Bakar orang yang selalu memberi nafkah kepada Mistah kerana dia adalah salah seorang daripada kaum keluarga Abu Bakar dan seorang miskin berkata: Demi Allah! Aku tidak akan memberikan nafkah kepadanya lagi selepas dia memfitnahkan Saidatina Aisyah r.a. Sebagai teguran terhadap tindakan itu Allah s.w.t menurunkan ayat وَلَا يَأْتَلِ أُولُوا الْفَضْلِ مِنْكُمْ وَالسَّعَةِ أَنْ يُؤْتُوا أُولِي الْقُرْبَى sehingga ayat أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَنْ يَغْفِرَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ Yang bermaksud: Dan janganlah orang-orang yang berharta serta lapang hidupnya di antara kamu bersumpah tidak mahu lagi memberi bantuan kepada kaum keluarga sehinggalah kepada firman Allah s.w.t yang bermaksud: Tidakkah kamu suka supaya Allah mengampunkan dosa kamu. Hibban bin Musa berkata: Abdullah bin Al-Mubarak menyebut: Inilah ayat yang paling aku harapkan dalam Kitab Allah. Abu Bakar berkata: Demi Allah! Memang aku inginkan keampunan Allah s.w.t. Lalu Abu Bakar kembali memberikan nafkah kepada Mistah sebagaimana biasa dan berkata: Aku tidak akan berhenti memberi nafkah kepadanya. Saidatina Aisyah berkata: Rasulullah s.a.w pernah bertanya Zainab binti Jahsyin isteri Nabi s.a.w tentang masalahku: Apakah yang engkau ketahui atau apakah pendapatmu? Zainab menjawab: Wahai Rasulullah! Aku selalu menjaga pendengaran dan penglihatanku. Demi Allah! Apa yang aku ketahui hanyalah kebaikan. Saidatina Aisyah berkata: Dialah dari kalangan isteri-isteri Nabi s.a.w yang membanggakan aku. Allah s.w.t mengurniakan kepadanya sifat warak berbanding dengan saudara perempuannya iaitu Hamnah binti Jahsyin yang turut serta menyebarkan fitnah. Maka celakalah dia bersama orang-orang yang celaka!
Nombor Hadis Dalam Sahih Muslim [Dalam Bahasa Arab sahaja]: 4974

Hadis Abdullah bin Mas'ud r.a katanya: Rasulullah s.a.w seorang yang benar serta dipercayai bersabda: Kejadian seseorang itu dikumpulkan di dalam perut ibunya selama empat puluh hari. Sebaik sahaja genap empat puluh hari kali kedua terbentuklah segumpal darah beku. Manakala genap empat puluh hari kali ketiga bertukar pula menjadi seketul daging. Kemudian Allah s.w.t mengutuskan malaikat untuk meniupkan roh serta memerintahkan supaya menulis empat perkara iaitu ditentukan rezeki, tempoh kematian, amalan serta nasibnya samada mendapat kecelakaan atau kebahagiaan. Maha suci Allah s.w.t di mana tiada tuhan selain-Nya. Seandainya seseorang itu melakukan amalan sebagaimana yang dilakukan oleh penghuni Syurga sehinggalah kehidupannya hanya tinggal sehasta dari tempoh kematiannya, tetapi disebabkan ketentuan takdir nescaya dia akan bertukar dengan melakukan amalan sebagaimana yang dilakukan oleh penghuni Neraka sehinggalah dia memasukinya. Begitu juga dengan mereka yang melakukan amalan ahli Neraka, tetapi disebabkan oleh ketentuan takdir nescaya dia akan bertukar dengan melakukan amalan sebagaimana yang dilakukan oleh penghuni Syurga sehinggalah dia memasukinya
Nombor Hadis Dalam Sahih Muslim [Dalam Bahasa Arab sahaja]: 4781

2004-07-26T20:40:00.000+08:00

barh nothing much for the last past days,
just concentrating my thing that important.... Study, work, life...
barh it has been a sad week...
my aunt passed away,
Ct grandmother passed away..
barh things that happened its just cant be undone...
barh so sick this days...
barh got to rest for now....
take care everybody....

2004-07-22T22:37:00.000+08:00

Whele the real story should reveal... so i telling people i think is better,
cause it cause me so much pain to keep in heart...
this story is not really completed yet as i onely recalled what i did, see and touch...

The Stolen Discman

It started on the 14/july/2004.

Day one,

Baiyi found the Discman and gave it to Ariff, which happened between 3 to 3.30pm.
Then Ariff instructed me before I left I put in Ariff bag for safekeeping. I do as told.
Then I went to SRC office to put the cabinet keys inside. Then I rush to class, as I was late. Later I receive a call from Ariff that the Discman that He is handling was Iman one.
Ariff told me that he was in rush. So I gave him my locker lock access codes. I am not shure that I gave him the right one. So I just sms him the codes. Then when in the middle of class Iman told me to come down. I came down when my break. I told them that the last person handling was Ariff. Then suddenly I came in my mind that I told him to put in my locker. Then I rush there and find out it wasn’t there. Then I don’t know where next place was.

Day two, 15/july/2004

Morning around 10am Ariff sms me to tell me to take the Discman from Siti Kamisah locker and go to his house. When I take it the discman pouch open inside open and everything fell out. I pack it in everything. Again did as told. Then after I went and give it to him Ariff house 9am and passed to Ariff. Then I and Ariff reach school around 11.20am. I came into the SRC just to say hi to every one. Then Zan stopped ask me if I have the discman or not. I just say I don’t know. During my lesson time Zan called me and asked to come down to SRC immediately. Then I went out and saw Zan and Dila wating for them. I have been escorted by Zan and Dila until I in side the SRC office. There comes the first confrontation. Dila and Zan ask me to tell the truth. At first I told them as I was keeping the SRC cabinet keys only. But Ariff told that he told me to keep the keys and the discman at the office. From there they are angry, the told me why I forget to keep the discman. There in my mind telling me that did Ariff told me to do so? Then I Told Zan that I swore that I don’t know where the discman go. From there Iman was inside the room. Telling what he was not happy and disappointed at. On the spot I paid his debt also. After the whole thing I went back to class having lots of thoughts in mind. Then later at around 7pm I called Shafri and I recall it was with Ariff. Shafri told me as why I did not tell them early and now was too late. Shafri told me as he can help a little. And I thank him for helping me. He told me to settle this by tomorrow. So I did as told.

Third Day, 17/july/2004

After my lesson I told Ariff to come to school to bring the discman so as I can give the discman to Iman personally. When I meet him around 12noon. So when I meet him, he told that his mom was sick and he needs to meet his dad. Thus I told him to go ahead and told him anything I sms him. After I meet Ariff I went to meet Iman to pass him the discman straight away. Iman was angry as why I lied to him. He scolded me and asks as why did it. I passed him the discman to him back. And told me he won’t settle the matter if I don’t call Ariff down. So immediately I call Ariff down. At first he told me that he can’t, I forced him then he came down. I told him to meet me at the canteen. He did meet. Then I called Ariff down then. There on I called Iman down. But then Iman, Zan, Dila, Zuraidah, Aidil and Shafiq came down. I was terrified and shock as one whole group came down. By then they keep asking the same question. I tell them the truth as on my part of the story. So I tell the beginning right from day one. They were really mad at me as why I lie and break the swearing. I told them that I scared to betray Ariff or lying them, and also I scared as they would beat me up. Zuraidah and Shafiq were the one who really talked peaceful to me, but at last I breakdown as why I were so stupid to forget my responsibility and lie to them.

That’s all I recalled and I what I report is true at the point of time.
Recalled and reported by:
Mohamed Azhar

2004-07-18T22:35:00.000+08:00

barh i felt of giving up everything....
what in my mind is study... eventhough got people..
talking on me... i thinking to drop everything and head to study...
i can't think anything... eventhough everything has settled down...
my mind and my heart is not peacefull enough...
i felt history... comming back to hunt me...
i can't stand this anymore...
i should let iman and zan beat me until i die...
more better they would be happy and proud as what they achive...
i felt like killing my self.... and sometime i woould try to schold myself...
me got pittyness... no... me got shit on my face... that i need to clean up...
but here i am do it again....
barh study is my main point now... not sc or any cca...

2004-07-15T17:38:00.000+08:00

Jet - look what you've done

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

2004-07-15T16:05:00.000+08:00

barh another day another problems,
whele i kinda stupid for forgetting instructions,
see now iman discman lost...
and all because of my carelessness,
whele i know its not my fault..
but me kinda stupid? dum? stubborn?
barh they say me "rich"? barh if they know my colours i been triying..,
to be just mid... barh me kinda give up...
again, i did it again..
Loosing trust... barh i hated this...
i just wish one day people would,
just beat me up until i die... i been hoping that..
or shall i say could they just
kill or sue me? barh i hate this... i wish time can turn back...
i wish life could be,
just right... barh all thoes Zan and Iman words hunt me until me can't study...
sometime i would just cry alone in one corner as y my stupid history come...
barh i wish i wasen't there...
i hate to dissiapont people but now...
i Did.. Why do i had to be like this...
Oh Tuhan Kenapa lah... Ada kah ini Takdir?
Atau sahaja test? barh i won't forget... as what i done...
i guess i never forgive,
myself as what i done....
barh i guess i would end here? Giving up? Barh too thired...
sick.. to fight for my right... i just can't do anything... i give up...
Whele Zan... Iman If u wana beat me up until i die go ahead...
I wiling to waste my life like that then people... Don't trust me...
whele.....

2004-07-12T22:22:00.000+08:00

10/7/2004
A big day for me... hehehe cant tell... whele one day u know...
ok it been a day for me waiting for this... to take a step..
whele thoes who see my blog... whele azhar been attached...
for thoes who knew... whele u know who... hehe... whele its like this
i keep irrtating her alot of question the suddenly she yes...
when i ask are u serious... she was dead serious... hehehe apa lagi
ada chance.... masuk aje lah... lah kata dah sayang!!! hehehe...
So ending... azhar dah akhir zaman singelnya... hehehe... at last pecah my 5 months
of being single... khehe... wish me and "her" stay foreva....
that's all folks... just to keep u updated...

2004-07-07T09:51:00.000+08:00

barh been such a f*** up month barh bill went so high until i dident know how high..
my freaking mom go blastic as if she pay my damed my hp bills... drream on...
so may things happened... poor ct she been single... so sorry about that... but hey hehe me got open goal wad... my room kina messy but hope my freaking busybody mom dont my privet stuff.. if she understand the word privet and confidentenial... she just open up my stuff as if it was hers... dammed... but nvm.. i am chill about it... rember must control my attude... hehehez... barh been not considering that i am to stress about my life that some things were hidden.. but i guess my desision is done... thing being single is fun.. enjoyful.. hehehe no stress on this stead thinngy.. barh kinda sad for leaving ct alond sometime.. but i am man need to travel new lands cause i need to stand up and make a new plans and take all matters in my own hands before i can go to 8 mile road... hehehe... barh been too sick.. never go check up... never take medication... rarely have proper meals... have heavy flams in my chest... when can i die... too much of problems... time by time i had to give up on things i wanted... for now work is important for me now... next is studies... barh... i am so sick and thired.. barh hope can concentrate my studes...F*** you to thoes busybodies...

2004-06-12T22:35:00.000+08:00

barh day by day been bussy...
Work hard, Play Rest...
barh dono ar... my life seems to be unfair and slow...
time by time history repeat it's self...
kinda f*** up... dono what can i able to good in...
I know i am a stupid person...
I accept that... but my friends u see..
I cant stop loving a person...
i like ct alot... but not shure what to do...
Worried for my history to come back...
Barh...To Give up Or Not to...
Day by day getting closer...
It makes me harder to breath...
For the suspenceing moments....

2004-06-05T21:57:00.000+08:00

barh its been a time i have not blooge in...

ok lorz.... me treat u with a holsem interesting stuff..

Soccer...
Azhar had to sit at the bench due to injury on the match between SC all Stars and Zainal class...
Azhar had made a few mistake on its soccer skills... he kina slack...
next up...
Local news...
Azhar Has been having his 17th birthday... although kinda sad... his wish did not come true...
he has made its dision to go low... his monthly bill has gone up... electic bill also gone up...
hand phone bill has gone up too... barh dono ar... he will be bankcrup...
that's all for news 7 tonight....

Temption island...
Azhar went low after his birthday... he wish to be alone but ct came in...
See Baiyi is thinking of his dream... but dono lar....
Commig rite up...

2004-05-25T21:24:00.000+08:00

Barh Now News but comming up... Temption Island
Temption Island ** BlOOgRd**
Whele arif went to hospital being adimetted to hospital...
Zaidah cried like flooding the whole singapore... i guess bukit panjang
flood goes up like third story...
buhahahahaha....
Whele Azhar is wating and keep on waiting for the answer to pop out...
and lots for fobia comming...

*************************
50 Years Dates...
its about a girl who lost her memory for onely a week..
And it up to azhar to work to recover her mind and tolleret her
mind set back... let see azhar can make it or not just to get ct back....

2004-05-20T23:14:00.000+08:00

Today in news....
The two canteen was closed down for at least 3 days already... yet the students appeal for a quick replacement cause the westen delights we expencive...
Now in market...
Inet shop has incerease its clients due to the two cantten shops which been closed down....
Top News...
KeY Player Azhar Has desided to sign up with the ite Army scholarship... he might be getting the end of this month...
Now for Sports
Key Player Azhar has gotten a Yellow card due to his rough tackel.. he might be not playing for the next season..
SC freelance lost to Trek and feld Maker... 4 nil... is was so sad that many of the key players was angry...
thats all for newsradio 99.9

Next in temtation Island...
Azhar is getting ready for the answer will he get ct?? or not??
Comming right up!

2004-05-14T21:32:00.000+08:00

News Flash..
A Fight Broke out in the school canteen...
It caused a lady in the canteen holder being schalded by a hot oil
i was being throw at the lady by a man from the next stall...
I guess the the lady want medicated oil but it was mistaken for hot oil..
An Eyewhitness told that the man got angry because the lady is trying to be funny..!!
that all for news update...

Temptation Island...
Its been a long time aza been wating but he still keep things behind CT...
When will aza can get his dream.....
Comming up next...

2004-05-11T09:04:00.000+08:00

Barh Many Men Wish Death apound me...
Glued to my eyes sorry i cant see...
But this niggars want to take my life away...

21 question
When i fell down will u help me?
when i getting down u be there for me?
When i need u badly would u come for me?
when u wana give it out would u still come for me?
will u take care my love for me?
Will u take care my home for me?
Would u keep me in your sight?
Woull u tell your friends that i worked in the coffee bean?
If I feel off tomorrow would you still love me?
If I didn't smell so good would you still hug me?
If I got locked up and sentenced to a quarter century,
Could I count on you to be there to support me mentally?
If I went back to a hoopty from a Benz, would you poof and disappear like
some of my friends?
If I was hit and I was hurt would you be by my side?
If it was time to put in work would you be down to ride?
I'd get out and peel a nigga cap and chill and drive
I'm asking questions to find out how you feel inside
If I ain't rap 'cause I flipped burgers at Coffee Bean
would you be ashamed to tell your friends you feelin' me?
If I wrote you a love letter would you write back?
Now would you leave me if you're father found out I was thuggin'?
Do you believe me when I tell you, you the one I'm loving?
Are you mad 'cause I'm asking you 21 questions?
Are you my soulmate? 'Cause if so, girl you a blessing
Do you trust me enough, to tell me your dreams?
I'm staring at ya' trying to figure how you got in them jeans
If I was down would you say things to make me smile?
I treat you how you want to be treated just teach me how
If I was with some other chick and someone happened to see?
And when you asked me about it I said it wasn't me
Would you believe me? Or up and leave me?
How deep is our bond if that's all it takes for you to be gone?
We only human girl we make mistakes, to make it up I do whatever it take
I love you like a fat kid love cake
You know my style I say anything to make you smile.... :'(

2004-05-07T23:28:00.000+08:00

MAtrix??
Wake up neo.....
U haven Finish YOur VB lar...
And u Haven Finish your Assigment lar....!!
"The Story begin"
U Wana Eat The Red pill or the White Pill{PanadOl}
Barh i take the white pil...
next few moments me been suck out the matrix
ct and the crew help....
"Ending"
After aza run away from the bad guyes... aza wass shot to death...
But a kiss from ct gave his strength... and fight hthe bad guyes away...
Before the sentinels kill him ct give a one lovely love that aza never had...
and the crew gave a EMP bom to kill every thing...

BArh thats all

2004-05-04T08:25:00.000+08:00

Today hot news...
Sports
Key Player See Bayi Yi Was Injurt While In A Game of Soccer Agenst Young Lions ANd Cinchi FC
But The Young Linos Won A Victory of 70 - 1. Thanks Of The Key Player See Bayi Yi Was Injurt in the Penailty Box... While Azhar Schored a breaking record of 69 Goals and a Penailty in a game... Wow... I guess Azhar was thired and the coatch is giving him a rest for a year!!!

Local News
The Repair Of The Two Highways is undergoing repairs and the burn down of the market was being rerenovated... The LTA said that the bad telephone cable has been replace by a fiber optic cable... thurs this three places will also infitted with computer security in case of any break out happened...
That is all..... This Is a Mediacorp News Productin For Channel Five...

Tonight in Temption Island...
It Was Zaida B'Day and ariff bought somthing spechial for her... While Azhar is struggling to tell her the thruth... Before Azhar Run out of time he must make a dision as he want to take it or not....
All Comming Right up....

2004-05-01T21:42:00.000+08:00

BArh I knoW My BloGs WeRe Out OF DatE BuT DamE!!
SO Many Ask mE To Do So!!! haha!!

Barh me sort of buzzy for this days since i had to help people alot...
Warh So Thired... but since u all are great observers i give u a promice threat!!! hahahaha!!
A secret story About me!!! hahaha!!!
Barh since "Many Men Wish Death Apoun me!!" I made a show on the Investiture on that time..
Warh my show Actual been critised by som hardcore group but Dame!! My SC Members Like it a Lot!!
Haha to bad thoes Niggars Don't Stand A chance on me!! hahahaha

Barh Birthdays... Exam's.. Project's... And Etc...They were giving me headache... but thanks to this
to this "BIdaDaRi" Fary help to clears things out... haiz with out her dono what can i do seh...
She cheers me up even we were having problems around... barh....

Welcome to the Fight Club... wohoh!! i almost got beat up just because of the miss understanding of the stupid msg
but thank God he save my life... hahaha...

Next local news... it been a heck of an april month... loads of storms of anger around the southern part of singapore...
the bad telephone cable cauzes the colapsed of... the nicoll highway and the near by Ayer rajah highway...
and the bad telephone cable also cauzed the heig road market being burned down.... now next for Sports....

Whele Thats All Folkes Keep Watching My Blog Site for updates!!! HAHAHA

2004-03-14T22:01:00.000+08:00

Barh its been a Week i did not blogg in...

whele i owe one... so i have a story to let u enjoy...

The last note.
A short story,
Its about an orphanage guy, he was mute, but found good of playing guitar.

A group of students had a community project to do. One fine day, they met with this man. They knew he was an orphanage person. On the day he was playing guitar, playing a sad song. All of them came and sat behind him. Then suddenly he stopped and wrote. "Why do you sit around me?"
They said that he play guitar well,
He stud up and ask them to go way.
The student went of...

The next they met the mute guitarist again. They tried their luck.
The man called them and wrote “are you willing to sing as I played the guitar."
They joyfully sat and sang along till the evening.

Their project was almost due. They made recoding of themselves together in the video. The day before the performance held, they found out that he met an accident. All the students went to visit him to see how he is. By the time they reach there he has just passed away. On the day of the performance, many students shed tires as he promise to play his guitar to all the students. That last time they enjoy was his last note.

Meaning of the story is that: you were too late to do something good to society because god may take u anytime.

*mind my spelling mistake....

2004-02-27T11:08:00.000+08:00

Barh me too quite Solem... i cant do anything... so blog it next time.. Wait for updates...

2004-02-25T08:35:00.000+08:00

Ok Since yesterday i forgot to post whele today i will post yesterday and today at one go...

Yesterday was the no mood in my lifetime.. i was totaly haveing my anger at full blow...
i cant help it when my friend want to make a secen out of it... bar i cant stand it...
but poor Rino... he lost his shooes which belong to Aidil... baR In sRc got bad person..
then my friends make me rember my *BleeP* flashback... which i rember that i left my friends
and did not relized that my ex fell down... barh me is so heartfull.... then came my pri sch ex...
all of the suddently sms me... its a shocking experience... but i dont matter... People come and go..
just like that... I just cant stand it... but my patiens keep me alive..
Whele i allways thought that talking to my parents were good... but i was wrong... it talked to them... as if there were a tape recoder... i just cant see that they want to take good care of me... when i ask "is the scholarship good for me??" they ans " Contunie with your studies" What the heck are they tring to tell me
am i a lousy boy... am i useless person... barh i guess its on my own... cauze i am a man need to travel
some new lands... and had to grab new plans...

Barh today seems i carried yesterday mood... i cant seem to forget it... cauze i am a type of soft hearted kind guy but strong in the out side... barh today seems ok a little but i guess if no problems came through
i should be fine....

2004-02-23T13:12:00.000+08:00

BarH.. So DowN YeSterDay... MorniNg BeeN ScholDEd.. AfterNooN BeeN WaCkeD By My EX.... So DepreSSed.. i WisH ToDay Will Be A GoOd Day... WaLaU i cAn'T Belive That i would dRage the Problems Till ToDay...

I allways hold my personal problems properly but now its just that i have no longer the will to be strong to face problems... where am i supposed to stand... i felt that i have lost my way by now... since i broke up to my beloved stead... every thing ran so fast until i my self don't know what has happened... i felt that i am lost... no where to go to... i can't rely on people anymore... i am so darn lost... i lost my sence of belongings... now she is someone person... and i can't do amything just t be fighting whith him... cauze i know that i would be stupid... just fight because of a girl??? darn right its stupid...

But now i realy have a sight on a new girl which encourage ot be my self and not to be too soft with my fellings... barh i know i am a soft hearted person.... but strong in the outside... i just keep on woundering that if i able to get this girl it would cost me a life time... but will time pridict that i would be with her.... barh it would be a long tome to get to reach her...

BarH.. The SYH Was inded Fun.. And Thiring... i Knees Was BreaKing But Then The Word Fun Make Me HAve The Golden Spirit To BrigHtened Up The Day... It WaS ALl In The HarD DayS WoRk Of NavGatIng And PinPont THe CheCk PoinTs.. But I Was IndEED Not The CaRE Full Type UnTill I mIss CerTen ChecKPoint WhiCh Was "BuGis MrT"... WAr SO CaRELess.. But With OuT SinG TeEk I Can't Do ThiS ALl By My Own... IT WaS ToOAly Day!!!!

WheLe TOdAy Sould Me Ok.... May The ForCE Be With You...

2004-02-22T17:39:00.000+08:00

What THe *BeeP* CBTL kiCk Me Out Of THE tRaNinG... WalAU So ThE StreSS UP alReadY...
TheN i Go AnD MeeT My ol' FrIeNd... JiMMy HiS NamE...
BaRh So *BEEP* up.... NOt ToDaY Lah...

2004-02-20T21:55:00.000+08:00

hAha... WahAt A BuMMEr... UseR Id Can FoRGet... AhahA
BarH... ToDay Not So BUsy At TP(IBM) So RelAxEd....
Ok Lor.. Me NeeD TO ClEan My RoOm!!! ME LaZy BoI!!!

2004-02-20T10:20:00.000+08:00

BaRh.... So Boring IN ScHool ToDaY... OneLy One LeSSon ThEn KAna TeKan With My MaMagER Later At
CBTL... WarH.... So SleEEPy Seh... I hOPe I Can DO ThiNgS ToDay PerFeCtLy... May AllaH BleSS Me AMin...
So Wait For My NexT UP Date......

2004-02-20T09:29:00.000+08:00

ElLo, War My FirSt BloG Mah... Dono WaT To Do MayBe I MigHt TalK RuBBiSh HeHe... JusT WaiT FoR Up DaTeS......